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Department Of Interior Sets Aside Portion Of Florida Beachfront As National ‘Wild Things’ Preserve

Posted By The Onion
Date Monday, 15 July 2019, at 10:28 a.m.

WASHINGTON—Officially safeguarding the area’s secluded hot tubs, three-way friendly bungalows, and unlit beaches where troublesome friends can be quietly disposed of, the Department of Interior set aside a 300-mile stretch of Florida coastline as a National Wild Things Preserve, the agency reported Friday. “With their…

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