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Nation’s Dorky Little Nerds Announce They Have Nosebleed

Posted By The Onion
Date Monday, 22 July 2019, at 10:00 a.m.

WASHINGTON—Tilting their heads back, breathing in thick gurgling gasps and flailing their arms about while stumbling for the nearest trash can, dorky little nerds across the country announced Monday that they, in fact, have a nosebleed. “Oh my, oh no. Please, someone? Get a tissue?” mewled millions of dweebish…

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