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Justices Observe Supreme Court Ritual By Driving Stake Through John Paul Stevens’ Heart To Ensure He Dead Before Burial

Posted By The Onion
Date Tuesday, 23 July 2019, at 1:12 p.m.

WASHINGTON—Solemnly gathered around the former associate justice’s casket, the nine current justices observed a traditional Supreme Court ritual Tuesday by driving a stake through John Paul Stevens’ heart to ensure he was really dead before his burial. “This is a longtime Supreme Court rite that began after one of the…

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