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Being Eaten Alive By Shark Not Nearly As Terrifying As Man Had Imagined

Posted By The Onion
Date Wednesday, 7 August 2019, at 9:00 a.m.

NANTUCKET, MA—Admitting that his expectations about a shark attack turned out to be pretty far off-base, vacationing swimmer Drew Roberts remarked Wednesday that being eaten alive by a 12-foot great white was not nearly as frightening as he once believed it would be. “This is something that’s always paralyzed me with…

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