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Older Cafeteria Monitor Not A Teacher Or Parent Or Anything

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Tuesday, 29 January 2019, at 1:14 p.m.

DENVER, CO—Finding themselves unable to explain the mystery woman’s presence in the lunchroom, grade-school sources confirmed Tuesday that older cafeteria monitor Esther Lowry was not a teacher or parent or anything. “Mrs. Makings volunteers in our classroom sometimes because she’s Josh’s mom, but Mrs. Lowry is here…

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