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Report: What’s A Pretty Lady Like You Doing Around An Article Like This?

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Monday, 4 February 2019, at 10:25 a.m.

THEONION.COM—Remarking with equal parts surprise and delight that of all the news stories in the world, you started reading this one, sources couldn’t help but wonder what a pretty little lady like you was doing hanging around an article like this. According to experts, you should probably just run along back to the…

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