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7 Total Randos Found Dead

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Monday, 4 February 2019, at 1:12 p.m.

SEATTLE—Revealing that the victims’ deaths had come, like, completely out of nowhere, authorities confirmed Monday that seven total randos had been found dead. “All seven were discovered last night within a few miles of each other, leading investigators to just go, um, what?” said Police Chief Ware O’Malley, telling…

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