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Parasitic Space Worm Controlling Mark Kelly’s Body Announces Arizona Senate Bid

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Tuesday, 12 February 2019, at 12:51 p.m.

TUCSON, AZ—As it spoke through the astronaut’s mouth, vowing to bring a new perspective to Washington, sources confirmed Tuesday that the parasitic space worm controlling Mark Kelly’s body had announced its bid for the United States Senate. “I am pleased to announce that, yes, I am running for your Congress, where I…


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