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Tumor-Covered Chester Cheetah Apologizes For Role In Marketing Dangerously Cheesy Cheetos To Children

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Friday, 15 February 2019, at 9:50 a.m.

WASHINGTON—Speaking out against his former employer while testifying before Congress, terminally ill snack-food mascot Chester Cheetah apologized through tumor-riddled lips Friday for his role in marketing dangerously cheesy Cheetos to children. “I’m ashamed to have been a part of this campaign,” said Cheetah, who…

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