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Teen On Verge Of Either Joining ISIS Or Getting Super Into Rollerblading

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Friday, 22 February 2019, at 1:56 p.m.

SUMTER, SC—Wavering over which of the two activities would be most fulfilling to pursue, local teen Ethan Horne told reporters Friday that he was on the verge of either joining ISIS or getting super into rollerblading. “I’ve been desperately searching for some meaning in my life, and it’s really beginning to look like…

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