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MTA Unveils $28 Billion Plan To Renovate Subway Masturbators

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Monday, 29 October 2018, at 1:10 p.m.

NEW YORK—In what many are calling a long-awaited overhaul to New York’s underground network of flashers, perverts, and yankers, the Metropolitan Transportation Authority unveiled a $28 billion plan Monday to renovate their citywide fleet of subway masturbators. “This incredible initiative will bring new life to the…

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