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Grandmother Really Starting To Get The Hang Of Dying

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Monday, 4 March 2019, at 12:08 p.m.

HAVERHILL, MA—Expressing happiness that their matriarch had finally “gotten into the swing of things,” the family of grandmother Ellen Haan confirmed Monday that the 87-year-old had really started to get the hang of dying in recent weeks. “Nana’s just recently come to grips with this whole diminishing-into-nothingness…

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