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Report: Keep Reading And Nobody Gets Hurt

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Wednesday, 10 April 2019, at 12:56 p.m.

YOUR LOCATION—Advising you to keep your goddamn mouth shut and listen very carefully, a report released just seconds ago, which caught you completely off guard, confirmed that as long as you keep reading, nobody will get hurt. “If you know what’s good for you, leave your hands on the keyboard where we can see them and…

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