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Jesus Christ Pushes Past Firefighter Into Burning Notre Dame To Save Beloved Relic

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Monday, 15 April 2019, at 6:02 p.m.

PARIS—Responding just minutes after the 12th-century Catholic monument caught fire, Jesus Christ, The King of Kings and Lord of Lords, was reportedly pushing past Parisian firefighters Monday to run into a burning Notre Dame de Paris and save a beloved relic. “My crown! My crown! Get out of my way—my Crown of Thorns…

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