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Paramedics Didn’t Realize How Hard It Would Be To Cut Drunk Woman Out Of Elmo Costume

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Wednesday, 31 October 2018, at 8:00 p.m.

CLEVELAND—Finding themselves hopelessly out of their depth despite years of training in emergency field medicine, a local team of paramedics told reporters Wednesday that they had no idea how difficult it would be to cut a dangerously drunk woman out of an Elmo costume. “Good God, how did she even breathe in this…

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