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Government Closes Case On UFOs After Determining Sightings Just Routine Psylandorian Patrol Ships

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Thursday, 30 May 2019, at 2:43 p.m.

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the seemingly concerning events actually had a perfectly reasonable explanation, the U.S. government announced Thursday that it had closed the case on investigating recent UFO sightings after determining the crafts were just routine Psylandorian patrol ships. “After following up on…


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