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Panicking Trump Trying To Recall Recent Affairs He’s Had After Spotting Baby Balloon In London Protest Crowd

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Monday, 3 June 2019, at 1:58 p.m.

LONDON—Racking his brain upon noticing the massive infant’s “uncanny resemblance” to himself, a visibly panicked President Trump tried to recall all his recent sexual liaisons after spotting an enormous baby balloon in a crowd of London protesters, sources confirmed Monday. “Oh God, this kid looks, what, maybe five or…

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