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Increasingly Paranoid Campbell’s Begins Stockpiling All Its Soup To Prepare For Doomsday

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Tuesday, 6 November 2018, at 5:48 p.m.

CAMDEN, NJ—In a move that has left grocery store shelves empty across North America, an increasingly paranoid Campbell’s Soup Company has begun stockpiling the entire production of its eponymous canned soup in preparation for the total catastrophic collapse of civilization. “The end is nigh, and the only way to…

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