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Beto Voter Struggling To Refocus Her Sexual Fantasies On Ted Cruz

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Wednesday, 7 November 2018, at 6:02 p.m.

AUSTIN, TX—Admitting that her attempts to fantasize about the victorious Senate candidate “just haven’t been the same,” noticeably flustered Beto O’Rourke voter Carissa Halpern told reporters Wednesday she was having difficulty refocusing her sexual yearnings onto Ted Cruz. “I was really hoping Beto would be my…

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