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Mortician Always Keeps Hammer At Tableside Just In Case One Comes Back To Life

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Thursday, 13 December 2018, at 12:38 p.m.

PUTNEY, VT—Claiming past experiences taught him to be prepared for sudden displays of vitality, mortician Radiston Nikolov, 38, told reporters Thursday that he always keeps a hammer beside his mortuary table in case one of his embalming subjects comes back to life. “I just like knowing this baby’s within reach in the…

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