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Nation’s Panicked, Blood-Covered Citizens Demand You Give Them Just One Goddamn Second To Think

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Friday, 21 December 2018, at 1:39 p.m.

WASHINGTON—Pacing frantically back and forth, wiping flecks of gore from their faces, and muttering that they could get everything under control if they just had more time, the panicked and blood-drenched citizens of the United States barked at everyone in their immediate vicinity Friday, demanding just one goddamn…


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