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Ethan Hawke’s Body Found Dumped In Laurel Canyon As 2019 Oscar Race Heats Up

Posted By Turd Ferguson
Date Friday, 11 January 2019, at 10:26 a.m.

LOS ANGELES—Declaring this year’s awards-show-related crime wave among the worst in decades, the Los Angeles Police Department confirmed Friday that the headless, handless body of Ethan Hawke was found dumped in Laurel Canyon, a crime consistent in its motive and its violence with the 2019 Oscar race. “Unfortunately,…

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