HUMOR

Harvard Streamlines Admission Process By Directly Growing New Students From DNA Of Top Donors

Posted By The Onion
Date Tuesday, 13 August 2019, at 12:09 p.m.

CAMBRIDGE, MA—In an effort to simplify and expedite the selection of top candidates for matriculation at the historic Ivy League school, the admissions department of Harvard University announced Tuesday that they would refine their process by directly growing new students from the DNA of top donors. “These adjustments…

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