HUMOR

Epstein Guards Placed On Disciplinary Leave For Allowing Selves To Be Distracted By Mischievous Monkey That Stole Key Ring

Posted By The Onion
Date Thursday, 15 August 2019, at 3:27 p.m.

NEW YORK—The ongoing investigation into the death of Jeffrey Epstein in his cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center reportedly uncovered a serious breach of duty by two prison guards, who were placed on disciplinary leave Thursday for allowing themselves to be distracted by a mischievous monkey that stole their…

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