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BREAKING: Hot Damn, 500 Smackers!

Posted By The Onion
Date Friday, 16 August 2019, at 10:00 a.m.

OKLAHOMA CITY—Fanning out the bills to show off the newly acquired currency, sources confirmed Friday that—hot damn, would you look at that?—here’s 500 smackers. “Hoo-wee! That’s 500 buckaroos right there—go on and count it!” said the sources, repeatedly licking their thumbs to separate the 25 individual $20 bills…

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