David Koch Pumps Billions Of Dollars Into Campaign To Secure Antonin Scalia A Seat In The Holy Trinity

Posted By The Onion
Date Friday, 23 August 2019, at 1:32 p.m.

THE HEAVENS—Noting that the deceased billionaire wasted no time after entering into Heaven’s gates, angelic sources confirmed Friday that David Koch immediately launched a far-reaching, fully funded campaign to secure Antonin Scalia a seat in the Holy Trinity. “It’s been far too long since a true conservative like…


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