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Centipede Tearing Ass Across Floor Must Be Really Late For Something

Posted By The Onion
Date Friday, 30 August 2019, at 12:02 p.m.

SCHAUMBURG, IL—Noting that the little fucker must be in some seriously deep shit to be booking it like that, local man Albert Chu told reporters Friday that the centipede tearing ass across his floor must be really late for something. “I dunno if he slept through a meeting or if he forgot to pick up his centipede kids…

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