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Report: Best Indicator Of Kickass Party Still Pizza Spinning On Turntable

Posted By The Onion
Date Wednesday, 4 September 2019, at 12:28 p.m.

PHOENIX—Based on a $3-million multi-decade study, a report released Wednesday by sociologists at Arizona State University found that the best indicator of a kickass party was still a pizza spinning on a turntable. “A stale, greasy pizza revolving on a turntable in place of a vinyl record remains the gold standard of…

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