Vatican Forced To Revoke Dozens Of Sainthoods After Discovering Miracles Performed With Eldritch Magic

Posted By The Onion
Date Monday, 23 September 2019, at 8:00 a.m.

VATICAN CITY—After uncovering compromising historical records in the Holy See’s archive, the Vatican announced Monday that they would disavow dozens of saints who had performed their miracles using eldritch magic derived from sources of sheer madness and chaos. “Effective immediately upon learning that many of these…


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