Wretched Outcast Woman With Combination Skin Forever Trapped Between Dry And Oily Worlds

Posted By The Onion
Date Monday, 24 June 2019, at 10:46 a.m.

BROOKLYN—Doomed to wander the Earth imprisoned by a complexion requiring both mattifying and hydrating products, sources confirmed Monday that wretched outcast of a woman Hattie Jean was forever trapped between the realms of the dry and the oily due to her accursed combination skin. “No matter where I go, whether…


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