John Bolton Urges War Against The Sun After Uncovering Evidence It Has Nuclear Capabilities

Posted By The Onion
Date Monday, 24 June 2019, at 11:15 a.m.

WASHINGTON—Amid escalating tensions with the hostile celestial object, National Security Adviser John Bolton argued for military action against the Sun Monday after being presented with evidence it has nuclear capabilities. “Newly collected intelligence shows the Sun, day after day, generating extreme levels of…


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