New Hellmann’s Theme Park To Feature World’s Longest Lazy Mayo River

Posted By The Onion
Date Friday, 27 September 2019, at 3:33 p.m.

GAINESVILLE, FL—Calling the condiment-based attraction the perfect way to cool off on a hot day, company representatives revealed Friday that Hellmann’s new theme park would feature the world’s longest lazy mayo river. “Experience the thrilling Tarter Tunnel and the heart-stopping Dijonaise Drop before taking a spin…


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