Trump Furiously Searching Raytheon Catalog For Gift After Realizing He Promised China And Ukraine Same Javelin Missile

Posted By The Onion
Date Friday, 4 October 2019, at 4:41 p.m.

WASHINGTON—Scanning for discounts in the precision weapon and early warning satellite sections, a visibly distressed President Trump reportedly flipped through the Raytheon catalog in a panic Friday after realizing he had accidentally promised China and Ukraine the same FGM-148 Javelin missile. “Shit, shit, shit—when…


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