Scientists Discover Oil Originally Buried Deep Underground By Early Humans Desperate To Shield Humanity From Its Consequences

Posted By The Onion
Date Monday, 21 October 2019, at 3:43 p.m.

CAMBRIDGE, MA—In a stunning revelation that sheds light on the cultural practices of mankind’s early ancestors, a new study published Friday indicates that ancient humans buried crude oil deep underground in a desperate attempt to protect future generations from the grave threat it posed. “It appears that once they…


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