Dumbass Apple Picker Goes For Overripe McIntosh Red When Pink Lady Cleary Best Option Given The Topography, Time Of Harvest

Posted By The Onion
Date Friday, 25 October 2019, at 9:30 a.m.

POUGHQUAG, NY—Completely ignoring the fruit’s coloring and texture, local dumbass Luke Jordan reportedly opted for an overripe McIntosh Red when picking apples Friday, even though a Pink Lady was clearly the best variety available given the region’s topography and the lateness of the harvest season. “God, what a…


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