Out-Of-Work Robert Mueller Opens Investigation Into Whether Squirrels Knowingly Ate From Bird Feeder

Posted By The Onion
Date Friday, 25 October 2019, at 2:02 p.m.

WASHINGTON—Explaining there appeared to be a pattern of premeditated wrongdoing but that he didn’t want to make any claims he couldn’t substantiate with hard facts, an out-of-work Robert Mueller reportedly opened an investigation Friday into whether several neighborhood squirrels knowingly ate from his bird feeder.…


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