Area Man Always Thought He’d Squander His Life Differently

Posted By The Onion
Date Monday, 8 July 2019, at 11:30 a.m.

LAWRENCE, KS—Admitting that he never pictured frittering away his time on Earth in quite this fashion, part-time retail employee Michael Storrs, 34, told sources Monday that he always thought he’d squander his life differently. “If you had asked me, when I was younger, how I’d waste whatever potential I have, I’d have…


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