John Hickenlooper Drops Out Of 2020 Presidential Race One Assumes

Posted By The Onion
Date Monday, 5 August 2019, at 1:43 p.m.

DENVER—Presumably thanking his supporters and vowing to keep up his fight for the well-being of everyday Americans, former Colorado governor John Hickenlooper has dropped out of the 2020 presidential race, one naturally assumes. Highly placed sources have confirmed that it is only natural to imagine that Hickenlooper,…


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