HUMOR

Consumer Report Indicates Slushies Lose 35% of Their Value Within First Year Of Purchase

Posted By The Onion
Date Tuesday, 6 August 2019, at 10:30 a.m.

DALLAS—Citing adverse factors such as rapid melting rates and poor syrup congealment, a consumer report published Tuesday revealed that the average slushy on the market today loses more than a third of its value within 12 months of initial purchase. “New slushies tend to depreciate quickly, with exposure to the sun or…

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