A woman called the cops because she thought store-bought meat was a penis

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After finding an oddly shaped piece of meat in her groceries, the Akron, Ohio woman freaked out, calling the Health Department and the police. Read more Read more

Woman dials 999 to tell Cambridgeshire police her 'ass is on fire' after eating chicken korma

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A woman dialled 999 to tell police officers her "ass is on fire" after eating a chicken korma over the festive period. The unnamed woman called Cambridgeshire police after suffering the consequences of a spicy curry and officers have released the audio online. During the call, made at the busiest time of the year for handlers, the woman demands to see paramedics after fears she could be on the toilet for hours. Read more Read more

McDonald’s sweet tea came with weed inside

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HILTON HEAD, S.C. (AP) — A South Carolina man who went to McDonald’s for a sweet tea says he received a little extra herbal substance on the side. The Island Packet reports Parrish Brown went to a McDonald’s on Hilton Head Island and asked for a sweet tea with light ice and extra lemon. Brown now believes “extra lemon” was code for marijuana, since he found three bags of weed in his cup. He says he only realized it once he was “high as a kite.” Brown says he’d never had marijuana, so he didn’t recognize the taste. He says he paid regular price for the items. Beaufort County Read more

Farmers urged to bury their underpants to improve quality of their beef

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Burying a pair of underpants in a field may not seem the obvious starting point for the perfect roast, but farmers are being urged to dig deep for tastier meat. The Agriculture and Horticulture Development Board (AHDB) and Quality Meat Scotland (QMS) claim interring a pair of cotton smalls in a pasture can reveal vital information about soil fertility. According to the experts, sterile and lifeless soil will keep underwear intact, but organically thriving soil will eat away at the briefs, leaving nothing but the elastic waistband. Dig up the pants after just two months, and it is possible to Read more

China is breeding giant pigs as heavy as polar bears amid pork shortage

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Farmers have always done their best to maximize yield, whether that be cramming another row of corn onto a field or breeding beefier cattle, but pig farmers in China are really taking things to a new level. As Bloomberg reports, some pig farmers in the country have bred their animals into an almost unrecognizable state and boy are they big. On a farm owned by a man named Pang Cong, one particularly supersized pig weighs in at over 1,100 pounds, making it bigger than a polar bear. Read more Read more

Scrambled mess: More than 136,000 eggs spill onto road

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Police say a tractor-trailer driving through Schuylkill County lost over 136,000 eggs when its load shifted. The Republican Herald reports 11,340 dozen eggs and 2,260 gallons of egg product were lost as 66-year-old driver Joseph Miles lost control of the rig in Hegins Township on Tuesday morning. Read more Read more

Noodle vendor claims they urinated in the broth "to cure muscle aches"

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A person claiming to be a noodle vendor with lots of customers said that their shop was very popular because their dishes helped cure muscle aches and pains. The secret ingredient: the noodle vendor's urine. Read more Read more

World's first tapioca theme park opens in Tokyo

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What is claimed to be the world's first theme park dedicated to tapioca balls has opened in Tokyo. It is the latest attempt to cash in on Japan's tapioca craze. Read more Read more

Maggots: A taste of food’s future

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The black soldier fly’s remarkable ability to transform nearly any kind of organic waste into protein could revolutionize global food supplies COLLEGE STATION, Tex. — It may be hard to understand the appeal of plunging your hand into a pile of writhing maggots. But the sensation is uniquely tactile, not at all unpleasant, as thousands of soft, plump grubs, each the size of a grain of rice, wriggle against your skin, tiny mouthparts gently poking your flesh. For Lauren Taranow and her employees, it’s just another day at work. Read more Read more

Woman seen licking ice cream in viral video faces up to 20 years in jail, police say

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Texan creamery Blue Bell said all Tin Roof flavored tubs possibly affected in the "malicious act of food tampering" have been pulled from store shelves. A woman filmed licking a tub of ice cream and returning it to a grocery store shelf in a viral video last week is facing up to 20 years in prison, police said Thursday. The footage — which has been viewed more than 11 million times — shows the so-far unnamed woman opening a container, running her tongue across the ice cream then laughing as she places the violated dessert back in the freezer, in a branch of Walmart in the city of Lufkin, Read more
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